Thursday, November 25, 2004
Didn't I do this last year also?
Ah. It's beginning to look a lot like Thanksgiving. 'Tis the season to eat Turkey. A crap load of cooking and cleaning to prepare for relatives. A bunch of whiny nieces/nephews/cousins will spend the whole time asking first if it's dinner yet and then afterwards when it's time to go, fathers/grandfathers/uncles/brothers talking about boring things like cars, and mothers/grandmothers/aunts/sisters chatting about boring things like clothes. The whole time, your family-type unit doesn't recieve a single compliment or thanks for the nice dinner and such. Those stupid lazy scum. And then, starting the next day, you have about a month to buy these same people hundreds of dollars of gifts, making sure not to forget anybody, and not getting any thanks. Also during this month, you need to set up a tree (or candle or whatever), lots of decorations, and a big general "Christmas spirit". Chances are, someone in your house is going to be playing "Jingle Bell Rock" loudly about one hundred percent of the time. Maybe someone will watch a bunch of crappy Christmas cartoons to even more ruin the mood. And then the day finally comes. People open presents, wrapping paper flies all around, some idiot leaves the door open, and a neighbor's dog poos on your carpet. You are left to clean everything up, and by the next day everybody seems to have forgotten about it entirely.
Good luck, people. Try not to die this year.
Only some of what you just read was based on things I've experienced, but it has all been real for someone. I think you should donate a can of "SPAM" to your favorite charity. It might end up with someone who has suffered from the post-November holiday rush.
Good luck, people. Try not to die this year.
Only some of what you just read was based on things I've experienced, but it has all been real for someone. I think you should donate a can of "SPAM" to your favorite charity. It might end up with someone who has suffered from the post-November holiday rush.
Saturday, November 13, 2004
To Scan or Not to Scan?
.:IN THE FOLLOWING FEATURE, TEXT WILL APPEAR WHENEVER YOU HOVER YOUR MOUSE POINTER OVER UNDERLINED WORDS.
Yup. You got it. More computer humor. Due to my last post's very good feedback, I decided to try again. Also, check out minor updates...
In the real world, people get sick with viruses. In the fake world, computers get sick with viruses. I've set up this nifty math equation to show this.
VIRUSES=VIRUSES
The other analogy is harder to remember:
BACTERIA=SPYWARE
My computer had spyware. This caused it to slow down and not act like it should. It never actually sneezed. Anyhow, I spent roughly two hours giving it "medication" (Ad-Aware) to "cure" it. This took longer than I had hoped as the "bacteria" was multiplying rapidly. I was forced to give my computer an "overdose". I think it may have become a pill-popper because of me. Throughout the whole thing, I ended up getting rid of a whole lot of *****. Side effects of Ad-Aware include nausea, drowsiness, addiction, and complaining.
.:In conclusion, don't let your computer go outdoors in the winter without a jacket.
Yup. You got it. More computer humor. Due to my last post's very good feedback, I decided to try again. Also, check out minor updates...
In the real world, people get sick with viruses. In the fake world, computers get sick with viruses. I've set up this nifty math equation to show this.
VIRUSES=VIRUSES
The other analogy is harder to remember:
BACTERIA=SPYWARE
My computer had spyware. This caused it to slow down and not act like it should. It never actually sneezed. Anyhow, I spent roughly two hours giving it "medication" (Ad-Aware) to "cure" it. This took longer than I had hoped as the "bacteria" was multiplying rapidly. I was forced to give my computer an "overdose". I think it may have become a pill-popper because of me. Throughout the whole thing, I ended up getting rid of a whole lot of *****. Side effects of Ad-Aware include nausea, drowsiness, addiction, and complaining.
.:In conclusion, don't let your computer go outdoors in the winter without a jacket.
